Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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