Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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