i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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