The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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