ugly people sure do ruin things
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
