I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm gonna fight the coyote
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
