I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
