I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
