Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
