Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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