I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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