What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
