Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
