you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
