She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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