You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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