I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize