Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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