he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
