my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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