marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
