I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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