Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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