his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
