Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This toilet bowl is my home.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
