Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize