You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
