Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
