Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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