hotel room ftw
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
