You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize