Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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