I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
