we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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