Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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