Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
