That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
