I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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