Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
