sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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