Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
