I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he puts the penis in happiness.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
