i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
