After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
