and next time when you feel me up, do it right
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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