At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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