I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
