i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
