Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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