Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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