Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
no you cant smoke seaweed
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
