So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The power of my boobs compel you
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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