So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
