Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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