As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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