they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
