And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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