Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
