I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
