So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
They have beer where we have blood.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
