There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
