Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
