Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
