My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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